Here a Fart, There a Fart, Everywhere a Fart-Fart…

FOR YOUR GASSY FRIEND…by Christabelle

On a trip to Steamboat Springs, CO this past winter, a large group of us went out to celebrate the final show of Duckbutter– a local and fabulous band lead by rockin’ frontman Scott Ramsay. A beer here, a hot wing there – the The Tugboat Grill & Pub quickly packed out with fans from near and far (I can’t give this place enough kudos – def hit it apres ski should you ever find yourself in Steamboat).  Crowded is an understatement – as the bar capacity maxed itself out.The wrong setting for what happened next…

As I made my way to the bar,  I was stopped in my tracks. Literally, unable to move my feet an inch forward – the smell of rotting carcass instantly filled my nostrils and cemented me to the already sticky floors of the pub. I looked around me and it seemed as though everything had turned slow motion – like I was caught in a time warp from the Matrix…Duckbutter sounded more like Charlie Brown’s school teacher – I was very aware of my own heart beat as it echoed in my head – my straightened hair started to spontaneously curl as the eye of the toxic stank storm infiltrated my lung capacity. Call it altitude sickness if you want…but this had nothing to do with the altitude. It had to do with an ass. A heinously sick ass. An ass that very clearly died a slow and tortured death and wanted to take us all down with it. Had I only know then, what I know now…

The culprit of this foul and offensive odor was never convicted of the crime – even after an encore performance one hour later, but should I ever be caught in the war against gas again, I am prepared – I am armed with SUBTLE BUTT and I am not afraid to pull you out of a crowd and tell you to use it! Subtle Butt (by Garment Guard) are disposable gas neutralizers that act as filters for noxious odors that leak (purposely and not) from the human body. This pack of 5 saving graces effectively catches the stench caused by flatulence. Each 3.25″ square filter is made of soft fabric with an antimicrobial treatment. The fabric is impregnated with activated carbon, which faces outward for bad odors to adhere to and get neutralized. Like a Roach Motel, but for your butt.

It is no joke – guard yourself, guard your friends and don’t let a dinner at Taco Bell give you night terrors for life. For $9.95 per pack – this is the perfect gift for your gassy pal. Buy 1…buy 10…buy 100 at GarmentGuard.com

Want to learn how to wear them? Check out their video below…

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